" What if "

I have a couple of irrational fears.

One is that if you aren’t talking to me, you are probably talking about me.

The other is the fear of being lost.

I literally go into panic mode.

Ask my children; it’s ugly.

Several weeks ago I had made plans with one of my daughters to do something that would give us the opportunity to volunteer our time together as well as be under the teaching of some amazing people. I was looking forward with happy anticipation. 

However a couple of weeks before the event, my daughter realized she was unable to go.

Bummer.

This event was taking place in a city 7 hours of unfamiliar road away and, if I still chose to go, it would require me to show up at an event I had never attended before, all by myself. 

I thought about it, talked about it and prayed about it. 

Pushing aside any beginning of fear, I decided to go. 

As I sat in my driveway texting my children to pray for me, I was feeling a little excited. 

(I don’t get out of the wilderness much)

I drove out my 23 mile driveway, dodging cows as I went, thanking my Heavenly Father for speaking this idea into my heart, giving me opportunity and allowing me to trust Him.

And I made it. 

All the way to downtown Austin to one of the most remarkable experiences I have had in a long time. 

The IF Gathering was incredible. 

The music heavenly, the speakers deep and real and moving, and I met some great people.

And, just because He can, my volunteer area happened to be right outside the area for nursing mothers. Did I mention my daughter-in-law was there with our newest grand baby?!

Throughout the weekend the phrase “What if” was repeated.

  

What if we do what Jesus would do?

What if we love like Jesus loved?

What if we took a chance, stepped out of our comfort?

What if we deliberately work for the poor, the enslaved, the abused, the hungry, the orphans and widows that are literally all over the world and right outside our door?

What if we made others knowing Jesus the most important thing on our agenda?

I would like to say that I bolted out of there and I am doing important and amazing things right now. 

While that is not exactly the way it is going down, I am different. 

God's Spirit spoke to me and “What if” has been running through my head and heart.

As I consider His Word, His Body, His Great Commission, I wait with great expectation to see what My Father is going to do with my willing heart. 

I am committed to more deliberate time in His Word and to continue petitioning for some things that seem like they will never change, knowing that in answering them, in His time, He will be Glorified. 

Several years ago, God began to put a desire for more into my heart. 

“What if” became part of my everyday thinking. 

What if I make some changes?

What if I take some chances?

We moved to a new state, took different employment and have had some of the most incredible times of our lives:

-Volunteered at Operation Christmas Child processing center

-Served Thanksgiving dinner to some homeless gentlemen alongside my family

-Experienced and saw some of the most amazing things: deserts, scenic vistas, wildlife, architecture, culturally cool things, like food trucks and town squares

-Visited and joined churches, met so many wonderful brothers & sisters, shared in people’s lives and gained new friends

-Spent time with Beth Moore (just her & I.. story for another day)

-Became acquainted with some awesome people doing amazing things…like Esther Havens, a humanitarian photographer

And so many other things.

God is so good!

At this point, I am not afraid to ask God “What if” because I want more: more of Him, more of His people, more of His plan, more of whatever He has for me.

And what if, by being willing, and obedient and expectant, God changes me.

What if I become more like Jesus?

That is a chance I am wanting to take.