Last week our air conditioner died.
To most of the people I know, this is not a big deal.
But down here? Let's just say I wouldn't have been surprised if I had gotten sympathy cards in the mail.
Thankfully it has been a cool summer in East Texas and our house stayed in the upper 80's. We spent three days warm and sweaty and sticky. Yuck.
It reminded me of Meadville.
And I got kinda homesick.
I suppose that as each day passes, I feel more a part of my new life. Frankly, it usually goes by in such a blur, I don't have time to think about it.
But I certainly have moments where I ache for the familiar.
Not the hot, sleepless nights so much; rather the "I know who to call to fix that" familiar.
I want to go to my dentist, get my car fixed by the guy I know and trust, say "Hey!" to well known faces as I wander through Wal-mart, stop into the locally-owned book store (pretty sure they don't exist anywhere else) and sip a tea latte at Tim Horton's while sharing life with one of my well-loved friends.
I miss those things... and I am homesick.
But I am also forever grateful for my Heavenly Father who loves me, wants to grow me and show Himself to me; which He has done in remarkable fashion.
And as I settle back into His loving guidance, I am aware that I am in the center of His plan and thankful that He has put me right here. Right now.
There are hopeful signs of new life here for me.
Some faces have now become familiar.
I am working harder at involving myself in our church and with people, and God is graciously opening pathways...I may even have a coffee date soon!
Yet even if enough time passes and friendships are forged and book stores are found, I will remain homesick.
I carry within my heart an ever growing feeling of alienation.
It seems the older I get, the longer I consider scripture, the more observant I become, the stronger the pull to go home.
I am not wishing this life away (well, not exactly), or working to hasten its end (I am actually eating healthier than ever... now about that exercise...), but with my whole heart I am looking forward to Heaven.
I really am.
I long to gaze upon Savior.
My body yearns to be enveloped in those arms of grace.
And when I get there, I want to cry myself to sleep at His feet.
But until that day, I will press on.
Some days are effortless and move along on their own; sunny and bright.
Others are long and strenuous; enveloped in grey.
But they are all gifts. Full of things for which I am thankful.
I even started collecting them in a new journal. (Thanks Ann Voskamp).
I will continue to remind myself that God is indeed good all the time and He loved me enough to leave His glorious home to come and save me.
And, since He left me here, I will go about this life, looking to join Him where I see him working and hoping someday to walk across that threshold, lay it all down before Him and be home.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
