Blog, Blog, Blog...

If you are reading this now, good chance you've been here before.
I've been "blogging" for 7 months and this is my 52nd post.
Does that seem like a lot?
Well, if you know me, you will know that most of what I think ends up out my mouth anyway, so it's not surprising that I have been a busy blogger.

Over the past months I have sat at this keyboard and let my musings, frustrations, revelations and interactions flow from my heart and mind onto this "page".
If you are family member or friend, perhaps you have even been the inspiration or catalyst behind some of my writing.
I have borne some criticism along the way, mostly from people who thought I was writing about them, and that kinda stung at first.
My intention is not to use my blog to hurt or "teach a lesson" to any one person.
Nor do I pretend to have the power to prick a heart, bring about guilt, or name someone else's sin.
In fact, I have emptied my heart here, time & time again, with no other motive than to share the story of a sinner, saved by grace.

Most of my writing is a reflection of the fragments of my life, recent and past, and how God is using them  to put together (inexplicably) something good... and the sometimes messy method by which this all takes place.
And yes, usually He uses the people with whom I relate, and the situations that arise, to teach me.
If along the way, someone else relates as well... well, that just might be the point.

By far, The loudest comments have been from people who identify with what I write.
(I have had readers from several countries including Singapore, Croatia, Australia, Canada and Germany... um... I don't think I know anyone in Croatia. )
Many have found themselves between the lines and have been encouraged to know they don't struggle alone.
Some of my writing has been very transparent; raw, if you will.
More than once I have wondered at the wisdom (or lack) of sharing myself so clearly, openly, painfully.
But the expressions of gratitude, appreciation and yes, even relief, expressed to me by readers are louder than the awkward thud of my fall from my own pedestal.

So, yeah, I will write and I will pray that God will change me as I meditate on His Word, apply it to my life and wrestle with the results... recording my journey on this page.
And if God uses this blog to encourage you, my friend, in any way, that's a bonus for which I take no credit.

You use steel to sharpen steel, 
   and one friend sharpens another. ~ Proverbs 27:17

Cleaning Day

Ok... today is the day.

I am going to clean out Chad's room.

I have been in there only briefly the past two weeks and have yet to leave it without crying.

But... today is a new day. A beginning of sorts. 

I may turn it into a study, or a sewing room, or something... anything that doesn't resemble Chad's empty room.  

Not sure, but, for now.... I am going in!

I wish it were that easy to deal with some other areas of my life that need a good cleaning.

Like... my thoughts, my attitude, (my house, but... maybe later), my mouth.

Actually it will be much easier to spend the day in Chad's room than tackle any one of those things. 

And really, if I would clean out the junk in my heart... well that would take care of the rest of it.

God's Word tells me:

"The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart. Luke 6:45

I think it is interesting that God calls both the evil and the good stuff, "treasure". [Valuable or precious possessions of any kind.]

It is true. There are things that I keep in my heart, attitudes and thoughts and even memories, that are evil.

Yet I must regard them as treasure, otherwise, why are they still there?

Yeah. Guilty. 

And the unkind, unedifying, uncontrolled stuff that flies out of my mouth, has it's roots (at least) in this evil treasure. (Yuck.)

Hmmm...

So the obvious action to take is to clean it out. Remove the old, evil treasure and replace it with new. 

I suppose the kind that doesn't tarnish or get eaten by moths would be a good place to start. 

But, like everything else God wants me to do, my first inclination is to whine about how hard it is going to be.

After all, I treasure this stuff... this is gonna leave a mark.

Identifying the source of the treasure seems kinda important.

Maybe, if I can determine my motivation for saving it, I can find the path to removing it. 

I know that some of it is there just 'cause I want it there. 

Stubborn, selfish, sure.

But I fear that the farther I go, the more clearly I will see that the very bottom, the fine, thready ends of the roots, are buried in pride.

And the only antidote to that is, well, humility.

And that really is hard. 

Humility requires me to work in tandem with God's Holy Spirit, powered by God's Grace.

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

I must be:

Humble enough to admit I am proud.

Humble as I approach those who I have offended, and offer my request for forgiveness... and humble as I am approached by others, granting forgiveness in kind.

Humble as I take my thoughts captive, releasing my ideas for justice, vindication, exposure, dwelling on God's abundance of Goodness, Rightness and Mercy and trusting Him to right the "wrongs" that fill my life... and mind.

Humble to admit that the source of my evil treasure is the sin that dwells within my very nature... and that I am wholly dependent on God's Grace to put that aside.

So, through prayer and the Truth of God's Word, I will do some cleaning. 

As I do, I will endeavor to reconcile relationships, replace criticism and intolerance with love and patience, and approach daily difficulties believing in the Goodness and Greatness of God's Sovereignty.

Hopefully resulting in the golden glow of the good treasure of God's glorious Grace.

And then, I should probably clean my house. :)