My Migraines

Recently I was laying in my bed, hours into my latest migraine.
Not fun on so many levels.
As I ruminated on my unhappy situation I wondered, "What would I be doing with all this 'lost" time?"
And then I thought about all of the things I could be doing, people I could be Facebook stalking, all those important tasks that were being left undone. And there I lay; imprisoned in a fog of pain and nausea and drugs.
What a waste of time. Really.
Then ("Thank you Lord") I began to think about the Apostle Paul. He was an incredible man: privileged, intelligent, learned, influential and languishing in prison.
What was up with that?  What was being accomplished? How was God being glorified?  How did Paul's imprisonment, beatings, and persecution further the Gospel?
What purpose could there be for so much wasted and lost time in Paul's life?
^{Philippians 1:12-14 The Message "}I want to report to you, friends, that my imprisonment here has had the opposite of its intended effect. Instead of being squelched, the Message has actually prospered. All the soldiers here, and everyone else, too, found out that I'm in jail because of this Messiah. That piqued their curiosity, and now they've learned all about him. Not only that, but most of the followers of Jesus here have become far more sure of themselves in the faith than ever, speaking out fearlessly about God, about the Messiah." 
OK.  Wow.
Somehow, God was using Paul without really using Paul. Paul was just being Paul; faithful, trusting, obedient, praising God.  God was redeeming the "wasted" part of Paul's life and people were being saved and were growing in their faith..
While Paul sat painfully, patiently in prison.
Hmm...
So, with my puny view of life in mind, I impatiently endure my migraines, frustrated with the time that is a-wastin'...umm...why?
My God is sovereignly over my life. I am right where He wants me to be. For His purposes. For His plans. On this day, perhaps my migraine is nothing more than an inkling that indeed, God is God. And I am not.
(Sing it Steven!)
A reminder that He does not need me to "do" anything. Period.
God's Will will be accomplished.
Even if I have a migraine.

49 and counting...

This June I will be 50. Or, as Braden likes to tell me, "half-way to 100". I find this sobering.
Sobering because, well, wow. That is a long time. Lots of dreams, ideas, attempts.  Many indelibly written across the plains of memory. Others flew through so quickly that I could barely get my hand out before they fluttered through my grasp like tired leaves through empty branches.
As a teenager I confidently dreamed of what was to come. My enthusiasm for the future was vast and varied and vague.  But as the shape of my life developed, "vague" grew and began to edge out vast and eventually muted varied and the brightness of  the future was tarnished by the residue of now.
As I stop here in the middle, I am again gazing into the unknown. Less ignorant than a teenager and excited anew to see through the shroud of now to what lies ahead for me.
Planned and crafted by My Father.
 For His Glory.

"The Motions"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaHmiFaX_pk