Emptying Nest

Today I am picking one of my kids up at the airport.
For the past 10 days we have had just one child at home. ONE.
It has been quieter and calmer... and lonelier than ever.
Throughout the past 33 years of parenting there has never been as much "child less" time as now.
I don't like it.

Becoming a mom at 18 (NOT recommended) and being blessed with 6 kids (HIGHLY recommended) over a span of 17 years has filled up my time and thoughts and energy more than I could have imagined.
It has been good; great, in fact.
I love being a mom. I have been given the opportunity to know, love and build into the lives of some amazing kids... well mostly adults now.

When we are gathered as we were this past Christmas, my heart is so full, that seriously (and, I know, kinda corny)  I could (and do) cry with happiness.
For one evening we were all here overnight...18 in all, and as I lay in my bed, literally counting my blessings, I poured out my grateful heart to my loving Father. He is so good to me.

But I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that all that happiness comes with a bittersweet chaser. 
Being a mom is what I do. It's what I've done; it's what I know.
And frankly, it is what I love.
Yet it is a seasonal occupation. And even though I have managed to stretch my season out a bit more than some, it is slowly coming to an end.
I know that somehow, there is a purpose for my life that will span the distance between the end of this season and the season of death (and Heaven!!) but at the moment it is a bit unclear as to what it will be.

Being a Grandma rocks too... maybe even a bit more than parenting...except the proximity issue.
For me, that is an obstacle to the quality "Grandmothering" that I desire.
 And I am working on that.

It is true that there is much that I once dreamed I would accomplish, experience and know based on inexperience, immaturity and some naivete. And the reality check to some of that produces a sigh, a bit of regret and a smile or two.
But not all.
I still have some goals that I believe, Lord willing, I can realize.
And He has already started to move.
Seemingly disjointed pieces are coming together and the outline of a picture is becoming visible.
God is working. I can see it. And He will continue to; I believe it.
And because of what I know about Him, I know that it will all be good.

So as I stand on the edge of what seems like the beginning of the rest of my life, I search ahead with anticipation , excitement and maybe the slight pull of apprehension, for what awaits.
And I will not stray from the truth in my heart that has driven me and kept me on the path thus far:  "God is good. And His mercy endures forever."
And like the old Amy Grant song says:

And all I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.
Any more or less would be a step
Out of your plan.

As you daily recreate me,
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do
What I can find.

And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be
Is what you've made me.

Couldn't have said it better myself, Amy. :)