Heavy weight.

Some times life weighs kinda heavy.
Not the mind numbing, emotion draining, fatigue loading kind of heavy.
Just that little extra pull on you shoulders and your soul...leaving you with a sigh and maybe a tear...or two.
The kind of feeling that is persuaded toward dissipation by a hug, or a kind smile, but sneaks back up and drapes itself around you...like a partially sunny day.

Don't get me wrong.
There is much in my life to celebrate and love and cause thanksgiving in my heart.
And I do. And I am.
And I trust a loving and gracious God. I do.

But sometimes things are not the way I think they should be. People are not who and what and where I want them to be. My efforts to befriend and help and love are not always rewarded...or even wanted.
I awaken with a groan, plod through my day, dragging my feet instead of blithely, breezily encountering the blessing that is morning and happily staring down what lies ahead.
Oh to be a sure-footed, motivated, focused person...steady on toward the prize that Paul so keenly lived for.
It is there for me as well. This I know, but don't always feel.
And I will continue to struggle with the things of this life. And the feelings that belie the truth dwelling within me.
And people will disappoint me, Christmas will be partially celebrated, life will seem unfair.
And yet God will be glorified.
Really.